Image is Orion from my upcoming fantasy novel series The Elyndris Chronicles
Throughout history, across the globe, it's been mostly men in the driver's seat. Think Ancient Greece and Rome - only guys could vote or own a big chunk of land. Fast forward to medieval Europe, and it's the same song, different verse – men ruling the roost in castles and cottages alike. Over in the East, like in old-school China and Japan, men were the head honchos of the family. Down in the Middle East, it's been a long-standing tradition for men to lead, both out in the world and behind closed doors.
There's an intricate pattern many often overlook—the benefits some find in the patriarchal system. Patriarchy often lays down the steps—clear, defined, and unambiguous. The roles are defined, the hierarchy clear, offering a structure that, for some, is reassuring in its consistency. This system, in its most ideal form, can foster leadership that's decisive and unflinching, like a captain steering a ship through stormy seas. Cultural continuity, too, finds its roots here, in the rich soil of traditions passed down, father to son, mother to daughter, each generation adding their verse to the ongoing saga. In this world, the stories we've heard, from the heroic epics to the whispered legends, often find their heroes in the framework of patriarchy, a familiar narrative that has shaped not just tales, but the very fabric of societies.
So why are we feeling the pressure, like we're in a David Bowie and Freddie Mercury song, 'Under Pressure'? It's the weight of the patriarchal system, a concept as old as some of the first founding families in history. The word itself, 'patriarchy', comes from 'patriarke'—meaning the head of a family, or clan, from the Greek 'patriarkhēs'. It's all about the father figure ruling the roost. But here's the catch: this age-old system, while providing some stability, often does so at a steep cost.
In this patriarchal world, it's like everyone's playing a part in a play they didn't audition for. Women find their rights and voices often muffled under the heavy curtains of gender inequality. And it's not just a struggle for women; this system perpetuates toxic masculinity, where men are pressured to fit into a rigid mold of 'manliness' that can be as confining as a straitjacket.
This kind of social structure can leave everyone feeling the strain, struggling under the weight of expectations and limitations that feel as dated as a rotary phone. It's a system where diversity and personal freedom often struggle to find their spotlight, overshadowed by the legacy of 'how things have always been done.' It's a script that desperately needs a rewrite, where every character, regardless of who they are, gets to play a leading role in their own story.
In the midst of this ever-evolving script, it's perfectly okay to stand up and say, 'Nah, this isn't for me.' Society lays out this grand buffet of norms and expectations, but hey, not everyone's taste buds dance to the same tune. We're all trying to carve out our niche, whether that's fitting in or standing out, but here's the kicker – no path is free of thorns. Different or same, we're all wading through a swamp of clashes, prejudices, misunderstandings, and offenses. It's like a never-ending family dinner where every dish is laced with a bit of taboo and a sprinkle of controversy. Family squabbles extend beyond the dinner table, echoing through generations, each one trying to navigate the debris of the one before. We're all just trying to find our way, picking through the rubble of traditions, innovations, and everything in between. It's a jigsaw puzzle where every piece is constantly reshaping itself, and we're all just trying to make it fit without losing a part of who we are.
We are all still learning, aren't we? Navigating through different perspectives, phases of life, ages, genders, sexes, ethnicities, nationalities, neurodiversities, and states of emotion. As a storyteller, I often find myself at the center of people's curiosity. "How do you live such a crazy life?" they ask. I've roamed the world, both physically and through the boundless realms of cyberspace. From bustling city streets to the quiet corners of the internet, every place has its own rhythm, its own story. I’m still touching upon only a speck of all of the knowledge that there is out there, and I want to see more.
It's funny how some folks I've met feel stuck, lamenting they've never traveled. Some people feel bored, constrained, lonely, upset, and angry. But here's the thing - their 'normal' life, is part of a grand, global adventure. Every person is a story in themselves - a whirlwind tale, a gentle fable, a heart-pounding thriller. You might be living in what feels like a mundane routine, but you’re the protagonist in your own epic saga.
Regarding the patriarchy, well, maybe it's like a chapter in each of our stories. Some might want to keep it as is, thinking it's the best narrative we've got. Others are busy rewriting it, hoping for a more egalitarian plotline. And then there are those who haven't decided what they think about this chapter yet. But no matter where we stand, we've got to work together. We're all characters in this vast, intertwined story of humanity, and the future? That's the next part we're all writing together.
So, let's pick up our pens, our smartphones, our voices, our actions. Let's educate, change policies, shift cultures. Let's share our stories - the crazy ones, the mundane ones, the transformative ones. Because in this grand adventure of life, every story counts, and every twist in the tale is what makes the future a story worth reading.
But wait, there’s more…
In my upcoming fantasy novel series, The Elyndris Chronicles, Prince Orion, a gay, half-dragon sorcerer, finds himself entangled in the complex web of a patriarchal world. Juggling the legacy of his late father, he's both empowered and haunted by the system he's inherited. This prince, with fire in his veins and magic at his fingertips, grapples with the realities of a hierarchy that's both a shield and a chain. As an 'othered' individual, he's carving out a place for himself, questioning the established norms with a mix of horror and curiosity. The men in his life, allies and adversaries alike, are mirrors reflecting his own struggles in this world where power and peril walk hand in hand.
The thing is, even when tackling heavy topics like homophobia and gender inequality, 'The Elyndris Chronicles' uses humor as a light in the dark. It's about showing that even in a world where the odds (and outdated gender norms) are stacked against you, laughter can be a powerful spell. So while Orion is juggling the usual 'saving the kingdom' stuff, he's also rewriting the rulebook on what it means to be a hero in a patriarchal world—one sarcastic quip at a time. Remember, sometimes the sharpest weapon against prejudice is a well-timed joke.
In 'The Elyndris Chronicles', Prince Orion, our charismatic gay half-dragon, navigates a world where arcanatech marvels buzz alongside ancient sorcery. It's like your grandpa's old tales crashing into a tech expo. In Orion's world, 'Arcana Redux' churns out magical energy like a fantasy version of a nuclear power plant, minus the glowing green rods but with its own set of "oops" moments.
Imagine this: Orion, in a realm where a Telepharion buzzes with messages not unlike texts from a modern-day crush, but also where a dragon might photobomb your selfie. The gender dynamics? Well, they're as outdated as the idea of a dragon needing a knight for a tussle. Orion faces the old-world machismo with a sparkle of modern sass, reminding us that even in a world with magical pollution, some attitudes are more toxic.
Orion's story isn't just about fire-breathing and fancy tech. It's a mirror to our own world's struggle with patriarchal norms, served with a side of humor because, let's face it, sometimes you've got to laugh to keep from screaming. It's a tale where LGBTQIA+ history and modern-day challenges mingle in a dance of dragons and smartphones, where the past and the future collide, and our hero is right there, making sense of it all—one magical, techy step at a time.
Subscribe for free to be updated on when you can join Orion as he navigates this intricate dance of dominance and dissent, where his survival hinges on understanding the very system he's questioning. 'The Elyndris Chronicles' isn't just a tale of magic and dragons; it's a journey into the heart of what it means to challenge the status quo, even when it's all you've ever known.
Also see my Article for my thoughts on reasons why this is: Why Include the Patriarchy in a Fantasy Story?
Speaking as a guy, this doesn't really speak to my life. The most strident enforcers of toxic masculinity on me during my childhood were women, and these were women, many of them feminist (educators and my mother and her friends) who enforced this form of masculinity on me *for the benefit of women* and *at my expense*.
My father, who is more politically conservative than my mother, actually cared about my emotions and growth as a human being. My mother saw me as a vehicle to make her look good to her female peers, and to give her granddaughters one day. One of the problems of this idea of the "patriarchy" is that it doesn't model reality effectively - women who enforce toxic gender roles are assumed to be footsoldiers in a fundamentally male power structure, and that's not how life works. It's assumed that men and boys have unearned advantages in the economy and power structures of society, when in a lot of ways it's actually the reverse - girls are overwhelmingly favored in K-12 education, and when they enter the workplace as women many industries have a pro-female bias as well. The idea of "the patriarchy" just doesn't explain a lot of what goes on in the world, and the resistance to discussing the alternative models is a huge problem.
There's a whole different thing going on here with female writers sexually objectifying the emotions and sexualities of queer men, but we don't have to get into that directly. What I will say that as a guy, women will objectify my emotions for their own amusement, which is extremely dehumanizing and is not the same thing as actually caring about me as a human. When someone wants you to "open up" and "be vulnerable" but it's just about satisfying their ego, then it's not a good thing and you'd be right to reject it.